Every once in a while, I'm pause for a moment and am amazed as I reflect on the last years of my life. If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be 10 years in the future, I don't know what my answer would have been, but I can assure you that I would have never guessed I would follow the path I've taken.
I never could have imagined living in so many different places, let alone living in those places by myself. I would have never guessed how many amazing people I would meet from all different cultures and walks of life. I couldn't have anticipated the heartaches and triumphs or known how much a heart can expand.
I was the shy, quiet one. I wasn't afraid to perform on stage or speak up in class, but I never felt particularly brave and bold. The limelight wasn't what I was seeking, just a chance to step outside of others' expectations, figure out who I was, and see something beyond myself. I think my nomadic ways helped me to do that. In high school and even in college to some extent, I always felt a bit trapped, like something inside of me was just longing to be free from something.
A friend I met here said I must be a gypsy with all of my wanderings across the country. He may be right. I don't feel settled in this place, in my job, in my life. When I peer ahead down this path I'm on, I don't often feel terribly excited about it. It seems too ordinary, too safe. And so I pray and I wait. I pray that God would show me what He wants me to see and where it is He wants me to go. I wait (sometimes impatiently) for an answer. I feel like I'm perched on the edge of something greater; I just can't see what it is yet.
If you asked me today where I see myself in 10 years, I honestly can't even guess where or who I'll be, but I bet you anything that 10 years from now, looking back, I would have never guessed I'll follow whatever path I take.
4 comments:
This is rather scary, particularly from a mother's standpoint. Or maybe from one who doesn't exactly embrace change willingly. But then life would be rather boring if we could predict where we'd be or what we'd be doing in ten years.
:)
I agree with you mvv. Your life is the most unpredictable, and when i think about where you'll be in the future (always, in my head, making it closer to where I am) the only thing I can truly come up with is that we'll both be surprised about it and be sitting around drinking wine one day going 'so how did that happen?'
i remember when you and i said good byes to each other in a parking lot in Sioux Falls. i thought i was going to philly and you drove to nevada. who would have thought that life would turn this way.
for myself, i would not change a thing - it's been an awesome journey!!!!
Is this the wrong time to predict that you will be living in a van eating goverment cheese down by the river?
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