ties that bind

I have a large, extended family that is quite spread out, both in terms of geography and age. With 25 first cousins, it's difficult if not impossible to keep in touch with each and every one of them. The oldest is probably over 40 at this point and the youngest closer to age 5. My siblings and I happen to be right in the middle of the line up on both sides of the family. Given our position in the middle we know both the youngest and the oldest of the cousins, which may not be true for those on the extreme ends of the age spectrum.

I may not know each and every one of them well, but no matter what we will always be family. I recently became "friends" with a couple of my older cousins on Facebook, and it has been an interesting experience to say the least. This lets me learn about their lives (or at least their lives as they present them online), but it feels somewhat strange to learn about my family through a social networking site.

Perhaps more than anything, their pictures affect me. I can't look at their faces without seeing the faces of other family members. One cousin looks exactly like her mother while another resembles one of my uncles and one of my brothers so much that it's unnerving. There is certainly something to be said for family resemblance. However much we may or may not know each other, there is no denying genetics.

And there are things that I've learned that may not have surprised me but break my heart. I won't go into them here, but suffice it to say that despite the differences in age and the geographical distance between us, I would have wished and hoped for something very different for some of them. And then I see the family resemblance and think about how close we all really are and how statistically that could have been any one of us. It makes my heart heavy, and yet family will always be family.